Before I joined the course, I was really struggling. I’d been trying to find work for a long time and it was starting to have a heavy effect on my mental health and wellbeing. I was applying for all kinds of jobs, mostly retail but other things too, and getting interviews, but never getting any further. Each rejection chipped away at my confidence. I started beating myself up and questioning what was wrong with me. All I really wanted was some stability.
I’ve always found confidence hard. I’m neurodivergent and growing up I was bullied a lot at primary school, often by the same people, day after day. Even though my family were very supportive, especially my mum, it really knocked how I see myself. That low view of myself followed me into adulthood and made every setback feel personal.
When I started the course, my mental health was up and down, but fairly stable. Antidepressants were helping, and from the beginning I found the sessions really helpful and personal. It didn’t feel like a box ticking exercise. It felt like it was actually about me.
During the course, job searching was still hard. I had an interview for a retail assistant role and thought it went well, but I didn’t get the job. That brought up all the familiar thoughts, what am I doing wrong, why don’t people want to give me a chance, is there something I’m missing. I felt rejected, worthless and demotivated. Those moments really highlighted my core belief, that I’m not good enough.
What the course helped me do was slow those thoughts down and challenge them. We worked on a healthier belief, that if I keep trying, I am going to succeed in finding a job. At first my mind attacked that straight away, asking why hasn’t it happened already and what if it takes forever. But learning to defend myself mattered. Reminding myself that things can take time, and that progress still counts even if it’s slow, helped me feel less stuck.
I noticed a shift. I started feeling more confident and I was telling my parents about it, which is something I wouldn’t have done before. For the first time, I could actually believe the more balanced thoughts instead of just repeating them.
The course also helped me focus on what I can control. I set goals around getting out of the house more and doing some exercise, like going for long walks a few times a week. Those small routines helped my mood and gave me a sense of achievement that wasn’t tied to job applications.
We also made my job search more practical and structured. Interviews are the part I struggle with most, and instead of just blaming myself, I learned to ask for support and preparation. That felt like a big step, admitting I need help rather than assuming I should be able to do everything on my own.
Another thing that came up for me was family stress. My stepdad and I clash sometimes and when arguments happen, my thoughts quickly turn into, I don’t do enough and every time I leave my room something goes wrong. Understanding how much empathy I carry, and how that can turn into self blame, helped me be a bit kinder to myself.
Since finishing the course, I’m still actively looking for work, but emotionally I’m in a much better place. I understand my emotions more and I’m better at putting my thoughts into perspective instead of spiralling. The handbook is still on my table and I still use it. This course felt more personal than anything else I’ve tried, and that made all the difference.
I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m doing a lot better. I’m taking steps, considering training opportunities, and believing that things can change. For the first time in a while, I don’t feel defined by rejection. I feel like I’m moving forward.