Before I joined the programme, everything in my life felt like it was stacking up on top of me. My mental health, my physical health, my confidence, all of it had taken a hit. I was dealing with anxiety, depression, ADHD traits and menopause, and on top of that I had chronic pain from a car accident years ago that still affects my back and pelvis. I cannot sit still for long, I need to stand or move around, and it makes everything harder. I had been medically discharged from the job I loved as a support worker because I burned out and felt completely unsupported. I felt thrown under the bus by management and even the union. That experience crushed my confidence and my trust in employers. I kept saying that getting a diagnosis for ADHD or dyslexia would unlock my life, because without it I felt stuck and misunderstood. I wanted the course to help me find a way back into work, but in a way that would not break me again.
When the course started I tried to come in with a positive attitude. I found it helpful, even though I needed questions repeated because my brain processes things slower these days. I struggled at times with migraines, tiredness and technical issues, but I kept showing up. Some days I could read out loud, some days I could not manage the camera. The others seemed like “computer warriors,” they just understood things quicker, and that made me hold back, but deep down I knew it was a personal thing, not the course. What kept me going was wanting to rebuild my life and be able to work again. The facilitators made me feel seen. The group made me feel seen. I was not judged for how messy I felt inside.
At the same time there was so much going on. I had to fly to Portugal because my mum was having an operation, and then later everything changed because she passed away unexpectedly. I have not really had family around me for 13 years, so it brought up a lot. Trust issues. Old wounds. My sister wants me back in her life and we are trying, but it is emotional. I am moving house too, and the whole thing is overwhelming. Some days my medication slows me down so much that even basic tasks feel huge. I am tired. I am 47, going through menopause, and trying to stay positive even when I do not feel it.
The course helped me see what I want to work towards. Short term, I need to get my migraines managed, contact private companies about getting assessed properly, and speak to the GP to see if my past medical notes support dyslexia. Medium term, I want to keep up with appointments, look after myself, maybe take an IT course, and stay open to opportunities. Long term, I want proper diagnoses and a job that suits who I am now. I loved caring but I do not have the patience for intense care roles anymore. I want something in the community or even transporting children to school, something where I can help without burning out.
I know my setbacks. My physical pain, my ADHD traits, my confidence going up and down, technical issues, even my own exhaustion. My plan is to get my medication balanced, ask for help from friends, and use positive reinforcement to keep going. I have support from my work coach and from MIND. I know I need more one to one help to process things and figure out tasks. I know I need to find a job that matches my needs, not fight against them.
I tell people now, “Do it, you’ll either get something from it or not, but if you do not try how would you know?” This course did not magically fix my life, but it reminded me that I am allowed to move forward. Even in small steps. Even after everything.