Before
Before the course, I was lost, hopeless and tired in a way I could not really explain. I had been through twenty years of therapy (on and off) and still felt like nothing ever shifted. I think I just found it hard to reflect on myself. When my work coach told me to do the programme, I agreed, but inside I honestly believed it would not help.
I was defensive in that first chat, using humour to deflect. I did not like groups, or small talk, or anything that involved crowds. My childhood had been complicated, and I learned early on to keep things buried, to get on with things, to pretend I was fine. Most of the time I felt like a fraud, someone who did not fit anywhere.
During
At first I expected nothing. But after the first session, I left feeling slightly more positive, which surprised me. The facilitators made things feel human, and I saw that I was not the only one feeling this way. The other people on the course were great and helped inspire me. Week by week, I began to see myself more clearly. My barriers were real, but so were my strengths. I am blunt, yes, but also empathetic, patient, practical and someone who learns by doing. I rediscovered that I loved science at school, that I cared deeply about animals and nature, and that my kids were the biggest reason I wanted to keep trying.
It was not easy talking about and facing my issues. Crowds made me panic. In previous jobs talking to customers made my heart race. I often felt useless. But the course helped me to push myself gently out of my comfort zone. I joined our group’s Discord even though speaking felt hard. I practised being in situations I would normally avoid. And little by little, I realised that not every person or environment was something to fear.
I began to imagine a future again, a dream of living somewhere calmer with my children, somewhere we could breathe. It didn’t seem impossible as I could face the hurdles to get there.
After
What I did not expect was how different I would feel by the end. I finally admitted to the facilitator that before the course I had thought, “This isn’t going to help me”. The course did help me and I’m very glad I did it.
Finishing the programme left me feeling lighter and clearer. I felt more able to manage and move towards overcoming my anxiety, more aware of my strengths and more grounded in who I am. I no longer felt quite so alone. The tools made sense to me in a way therapy never had. They helped me see that change is not instant, but it is possible, even for someone who has been stuck for years.
After the course, I found part time work in a supermarket. To me it meant stability, routine and proof that I could cope better than before. I am coping better and better with the job all the time. I still want to work with nature or animals one day, maybe through volunteering first, and that no longer feels like a ridiculous dream. It feels achievable.
If a friend asked whether they should join the programme, I would tell them the truth: go. Even if you do not believe it will help, go. Because I did not believe either, and I am so glad I was wrong.