Before I joined the course, every day felt the same. I was stuck and didn’t know what steps to take to change anything. My mental health was a big barrier, anxiety, low confidence, low self esteem, and a constant feeling that things wouldn’t change anyway. I’m quite shy and I find it hard to talk in groups, so most of the time I kept things to myself. I knew I wanted to move forward, but I didn’t understand what was actually stopping me.
When I first joined the sessions, I felt overwhelmed. Being in a group was difficult for me and I struggled to speak or type in the chat. I honestly believed I didn’t have anything worth saying. But as the course went on, even though I stayed quiet, I started to get to know people. I felt more understood and more comfortable, just being there.
One of the biggest things for me was working on core beliefs. I didn’t realise how much I was carrying until we started breaking things down. Seeing my thoughts, feelings, physical reactions and behaviours laid out helped me understand myself in a way I hadn’t before. For example, something small like an accident would spiral into embarrassment, guilt and panic, and underneath that was this deep belief that I have no self worth and that something is wrong with me. Seeing it clearly was painful, but it was also helpful.
During the course, I started to look at beliefs I’d held for a long time, like the idea that the world is a dangerous place, people can’t be trusted, and that I’m incapable. Challenging those beliefs was hard. Part of me still believes them. But I was able to find evidence that not everything bad I imagine actually happens. I’ve been out and nothing bad happened. I’ve had good friends. I’m in a healthy relationship. Slowly, a new belief started to form, that the world can be dangerous, but it also offers opportunities. I don’t fully believe that yet, but even believing it a little feels important.
What helped me stick with the course was a mix of things. Feeling like I wasn’t alone, doing something practical with the workbook, and actually taking time to reflect instead of avoiding things. It also really mattered that it felt like the facilitators genuinely cared. I hadn’t experienced that before, and it made it easier to stay engaged even on bad days.
The structure of the course helped me a lot. I’m someone who goes through phases and struggles to stick with goals, but having something consistent made a difference. My main goal was to go out of the house three times a week for a walk over four weeks. That might sound small, but for me it was a big step. Some days were harder than others, but I kept trying.
Since finishing the course, I’ve realised it’s okay to start slow. I don’t have to push myself straight into full time work and make myself unwell again. I can think about part time work or volunteering when I feel ready. That realisation has taken a lot of pressure off.
I still struggle with confidence, especially around interviews, and that can stop me applying for jobs. But now I understand myself better and I know why those fears show up. I’m learning to be more patient with myself and take things one step at a time. If I was talking to a friend about the course, I’d say definitely give it a go and really engage with the activities. Reflecting on things has helped me more than I expected.