Before
Before I joined the course, I was extremely lost. I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do or even who I was anymore. My health had taken over everything.
First, they told me I probably had pancreatic cancer. I went through all the emotions, from fear to numbness. I even started putting my affairs in order. When the diagnosis changed to chronic pancreatitis and diabetes, I was relieved, of course, but I still felt stuck with conditions that would never fully go away.
Being out of work for months knocked my confidence badly. I used to be an HGV driver, travelling across Europe, seeing parts of the world most people never get to see. Then suddenly I was at home, in pain, doubting myself. Some days I barely left the bed. I hoped the course might help, but I was a bit worried nothing would change.
During
My first reaction to the course was surprise. I liked the warm welcome. It was gentle and steady, which suited me. I thought it might be tedious, but it got interesting quickly. Sharing with others, hearing their struggles and talking honestly about my own, helped me find confidence I thought I had lost forever.
The course made me look closely at myself. I realised I had been carrying emotional things from long ago, like learning I was adopted at five and feeling a bit apart from everyone. I had buried that under work, travel and being the man who just gets on with things. When my health collapsed, all those old doubts came back to the surface.
The sessions reminded me that I still have strengths. I am good at detail, good at helping people, and good at staying organised even when life feels chaotic.
I also rediscovered things I care about, like writing my statistical football book. I work on it for a few hours a day when I can. It gives me purpose again.
The biggest impact was feeling able to open up. Once I did that, I felt myself becoming more determined. I could finally set goals, whether that was managing my health properly, applying for work I could actually do, or keeping up steady progress on my book. Most importantly, I stopped seeing myself as someone whose best days were behind him.
After
Since finishing the course, my life has changed more than I ever expected.
My health has improved a lot. The chronic pancreatitis has settled down, it seems to have gone all together, and I’m managing my diabetes much better. I feel physically more able to do things, which has lifted my mood too.
I started a new job on the 1st of December, supervising wastewater tankers. It might not sound glamorous, but to me it means responsibility, daily structure and the feeling of being useful again. I take pride in doing things properly. During quiet moments I can even work on my book, which keeps my mind active.
For the first time in a long while, I’m planning ahead. I’ve had a mortgage appointment for a retirement flat. I’m sorting out my pension. I’m thinking about where I might want to live in the future and how I want the next chapter of my life to look. These are things I wouldn’t have dared to consider before.
Most of all, I feel like myself again. The course it gave me the confidence and motivation to move forward. I’d tell anyone thinking about joining to give it a go and fully engage. You might surprise yourself, just like I did.