Before
Life used to feel really small. I had just become sober and was going to AA every day, and although I was proud of that, I was still struggling. I had walked away from teaching because of my drinking, and I honestly couldn’t imagine what kind of work I would ever be able to do again. My confidence was on the floor and even going into a café made me anxious. I isolated myself and found it hard to be around others, especially if they were drinking as it made me feel judged. I tend to take things personally and, as a people pleaser, I just wanted everyone else to be happy, even if it meant forgetting about myself.
Deep down, I knew I wanted and needed to change. I wanted to stop the negative self-talk and I wanted to feel creative again.
I imagined teaching a couple of days a week or supporting adults who are neurodivergent. Mostly, I wanted to feel like I had something to give, to make life feel more meaningful.
During the Course
At the start of the sessions, I was definitely out of my comfort zone as being on camera made me nervous. For a while, I sat back and just watched how everyone interacted. I slowly relaxed as the group made it easy to be myself and the activities genuinely got me thinking.
What kept me coming back were the moments where things clicked. I started understanding myself better, especially the patterns I’d been stuck in for years. I loved the teamwork, the self-reflection tasks, and the film clips. They made the whole experience more fun and engaging and helped me see myself in a different way.
I also remembered parts of myself that I’d forgotten, such as my love of animals, my passion for learning, and the joy I get from cooking. I even started thinking about how to use my love of horses in job. Maybe some kind of horse-riding therapy, which made me feel excited about the future for the first time in ages.
The biggest change was in my self-belief. Once that started improving, everything else started falling into place. I joined a gym, started walking more, and began taking care of myself in ways I hadn’t managed before. Even when I had a relapse, I didn’t spiral. I kept going to AA, reached out for support, and told myself I could keep moving forward.
I began learning how to pause and reflect instead of reacting impulsively. I realised that putting my safety first is actually healthy, not selfish. Once that penny dropped, so many other things started making sense.
After
The course gave me foundations I didn’t have before and helped me remember the way I was before my struggles.
I’ve started a temporary job as a cover teacher, and it feels so good to have responsibility again. I wasn’t sure I would cope, but I was fine. It’s proof that I can do it. I still have my wobbly days, but I feel like I’m progressing instead of just surviving. I’m exploring therapy alongside part-time work and I’m looking into adult education because it feels like a space where I could really thrive. I still have a way to go, but I finally feel like I’m back on the path. I feel supported, hopeful, and proud of how far I’ve come.