Before the course, I was struggling just to exist day to day. My anxiety and depression felt heavy and constant, even though I was on medication. I had been signed off sick from my job and was about to hand in my notice because I kept panicking in front of customers and forgetting things. It made me feel stupid and weak.
I wanted friends but found that really hard. I moved around a lot growing up and never felt like I fit in with people my own age.
I mostly kept myself small and quiet because I was scared of being judged. I had done therapy before and was back on a waiting list, but everything felt stuck.
I knew I loved animals and had done animal care at college, but money, confidence and fear kept getting in the way. I didn’t really have a plan and that made everything feel worse.
When I first joined the course, I was extremely nervous. I worried about being judged, about how I looked on camera, about not sitting still and people thinking I wasn’t paying attention. But seeing other people with their cameras on helped, and the facilitator made me feel safe straight away. Everyone was kind and that mattered more than I expected.
I remember thinking, listening feels easier here. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I belonged somewhere. People on the course were similar to me and that made me feel less alone. I wasn’t the only one who felt overwhelmed or afraid of people.
During the sessions, I started to understand how harsh I am with myself. I realised I don’t judge other people the way I judge myself. My core belief was that I am a failure, that I’m weak and that the world is dangerous.
Learning about core beliefs helped me challenge that. One healthy belief I held onto was that I can understand things eventually. That felt important.
I noticed small things too. I could speak a bit more. I could stay on camera. I could sit with the discomfort instead of running from it. I still went red, shook, stuttered and hid behind soft toys sometimes, but I stayed. That felt like an achievement.
The course helped me see my strengths. I’m sensitive and empathetic. I’m creative and music helps my confidence when I’m out. I care deeply about animals and know a lot more than I give myself credit for. I realised I like being around people, I’m just afraid of being judged. That shift mattered.
By the end, I didn’t feel so lost. I felt like I had a bearing, like there were options instead of a blank wall. The course wasn’t just giving instructions, it explained things in a way I could actually grasp. That made me feel respected and capable.
After the course, I feel more hopeful. I still have anxiety, but it doesn’t completely define me anymore.
I feel more positive about the future and more confident that I can work towards something that suits me. I’ve started thinking seriously about longer term goals, including going back to college and even training in psychology one day so I can help others.
I’m kinder to myself than I was before. I know now that trying doesn’t make me a bad person and that struggling doesn’t mean I’m a failure. I would definitely tell other people to do the course because it genuinely helped me feel less alone and more human.
EET Update:
EH is currently unemployed but is with the Kings Trust and having therapy with iTalk