Before the course, my life felt quiet and complicated at the same time. I have always loved English, especially literature, and I used to enjoy creative writing, but I had lost my concentration and motivation. I did something at college before, more like preparation than a real course, and I still was not sure what job I wanted. I read a lot, a bit of everything, but I felt stuck.
I was dealing with a lot in the background. I have PTSD and a history of seizures, although they had not happened for a while. I was still living with my mum, in a situation that was difficult, and I was pregnant. I was calm on the outside, but there was a lot going on underneath. I wanted to improve my mental health, feel more motivated, and have some kind of routine again.
At the start of the course, things around me were noisy and unpredictable, sometimes I had to join from the car, sometimes from home. I was not sure how I felt about the group at first, so I observed more than I spoke. Being around new people is outside my comfort zone. On my own, or with my partner, I feel more able to concentrate.
Early on, I realised I wanted to be the person who helps others. That matters to me.
I like routines, working independently, following procedures, and learning new things. I started to think about roles like being a teaching assistant or working with children, something meaningful and steady. Connections are important to me, and I know the right people make a big difference.
My motivation during the course came mostly from my baby and my boyfriend. My dream is simple but big, to give my baby the best life and to be a good parent. That helped me keep going, even when I felt unwell. Pregnancy sickness and my mental health made things harder, and PTSD is still a barrier. Some days just eating felt like a chore. But being on the course helped me reflect on what I wanted to change, talking to people more, building confidence, and slowly moving forward rather than staying stuck.
I also noticed how much I value structure and calm. I work better when things are clear and when I feel safe. The course made me think about how routine supports my mental health, and how small steps still count, even if they do not look like progress from the outside.
I was not able to finish the course because of complications and illness during my pregnancy. That was disappointing, but it was not a failure. At that point, my priority had to be my health and my baby. What I took with me was the understanding that my goals are still valid, and that looking after myself is part of moving towards them.
The course helped me reflect on what matters to me, stability, learning, connection, and being there for my child.
When the time is right, I want to return to education or training, with a clearer sense of myself and what I need to stay well.