Before I joined the programme, most of my difficulties around work came down to confidence and motivation. I was looking for jobs and trying to build a portfolio, but applying felt hard. I’d even turned down a job because it involved an in‑person interview. I can get anxious in groups and with the camera on, and I struggle to get out of bed some days. I also have joint pain, so moving around for long periods can be uncomfortable. I knew what I wanted long term, animation and creative work, but everything in between felt stuck.
When I started the course, it was alright, just a bit awkward. I didn’t really know what to expect and I wasn’t sure how far I wanted to push myself. I’m comfortable with art and animation, that’s my zone. Talking, public speaking and being relied on by other people feels much further out. I don’t have big fears, but motivation and anxiety get in the way. I tend to put things off until the last minute unless someone else is expecting something from me. Having structure and being observed actually helps, body doubling works for me.
Crowds are a big trigger. In places like concerts or busy areas I feel stressed and uncomfortable. My instinct is to stay still and not do anything, to avoid interaction. My thoughts go to worst‑case scenarios, that people might judge me or hurt me. I know some of that comes from past experiences at school. Through the course, I started questioning those thoughts. A healthier way of looking at it for me is that I can talk to strangers if and when I need to, but I don’t have to force it.
One thing we worked on was routines. My sleep pattern has always been backwards. I draw late at night and I tell myself my best art happens at 2am. The problem is I miss meals, I’m tired during the day and I don’t get much done. I started to see that if I slept more regularly, I’d have more time and energy, even if it felt uncomfortable at first. The idea that I could still create, just at a different time, was a shift for me.
I found the course uncomfortable at points, but the staff were friendly and the content was useful. What helped most was the routine. Having somewhere to be and something structured to engage with made a difference.
It was personalised, which mattered, and it helped me understand how my emotions affect my follow‑through. I realised I want to learn how to lead and motivate people, especially if I want to work in animation and eventually direct others.
After finishing the course, I felt more confident about taking the next step. I moved into an online animation course, which worked well for me and the support suited how I learn. Doing Pathways first helped because I was already used to video calls and showing up. I’m now planning to start a Level 2 Art and Design course, with a view to progressing further. I feel excited about the future and pleased that I’m doing something. I’m procrastinating a lot less and I can focus better, which I put down to handling my emotions more effectively. I still want paid work in the long run, ideally in animation or art, and I feel more capable of moving towards that now.