Before
Before I joined the programme, I could never quite see my own barriers clearly. I wanted support to understand why I felt stuck. Confidence was certainly an issue. I have a habit of people pleasing, saying yes when I ought to say no, and then taking all that stress home with me. I used to think strength meant carrying on without complaint, but I realise now it often just meant I was attracting the wrong behaviour, especially from people I already knew.
I liked the idea of working again, perhaps something part time, maybe from home so I could be with my dog. Admin, civil service, something steady. But I was unsure, and when you are unsure, it is easy to slip into a loop of fear. I often said to myself, “Just fake it until you make it.” But secretly, I didn’t believe I could do that.
During
On the first day, I took the questionnaire and it was a shock. I had not realised quite how negative my thoughts had become. I felt heavy that morning. Later I began to see that the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be wasn’t a wall, it was a space I could cross with the right support.
I remember thinking, it is a new year and I want a fresh start. My life had grown smaller and smaller, and I didn’t know how to climb out of the rut. Yet the course felt exciting. I found myself enjoying it, digesting it, even having fun.
There were moments that truly challenged me. Learning the difference between skills and strengths was eye opening. I had always thought they were the same. Realising I could take what I already knew and use it somewhere new was, frankly, liberating. For years I worked in similar roles, never really enjoying it, but suddenly I could see possibilities I had not noticed before.
The session on how thinking develops was particularly deep for me. Growing up in a very rigid household, with a father who rose through the army ranks, there was a strong emphasis on discipline and achievement. I learnt early on to do as I was told, and although my upbringing gave me values and manners, it also left me craving warmth and freedom. This course helped me recognise how much of that still influenced my thinking.
After a few weeks I felt myself opening up. I became more aware of my own mind, and I started to challenge my thinking. Even when content felt heavy, I could see its purpose. I even pushed myself to start a small social group I had always wanted to create. It was out of my comfort zone, but I tried it anyway. If it failed, at least I could say I was brave enough to try.
After
After the course, I felt more focused than I had in years. I completed further training, wrote a strong CV and felt genuinely interview ready. My confidence held steady.
And then, the moment I had been hoping for, I found work.
I now work for Dream Day Campers Weddings Limited, supporting the wedding planners and helping organise services for each ceremony. I work full time, something I never thought I would manage again. I like my colleagues, I feel valued, and I am genuinely happy. It’s similar to other work I have done, but I find this environment more exciting and the work meaningful.
I am coping well, better than I imagined, and I can see that the work I put in during the programme has shaped how I am handling everything now. I am choosing my own path, and taking my life back.